In the Lab

the creative adventure  

of any one painting

even if

declared complete 

cannot be separated 

from the ongoing 

never-to-be-completed 

work-in-progress 

of becoming the artist 

I am 

(always) 

becoming.

Be the Mad Scientist of Your Own Life,
Each Experiment One in Meaning-Making and Discomfort-Embracing
7 x 8.5"; acrylic, oil pastel, and collage on paper
abstract scribble inquiry
2023

A Little Smile of Discovery

I took Nicholas Wilton's 2023 Art2Life Free Online Workshop this past week, during which several live painting demonstrations took place. 

The funny part was that in one case I found myself becoming one with the artist at hand doing the demo. As she made certain marks that created instant impact—most often because of very pleasing contrast, my own (empty) hand involuntarily stayed in motion continuing to make more and more of those dynamic marks … even when she did not!

I broke into a little smile of discovery. I have new insight into how some of my paintings turn into chaos that leaves me not knowing how to navigate. I now see new choices about how to direct my energy. With any given painting, I might choose to put no brakes on making marks that are exciting to my eye, for the sheer joy of expressing myself in that way, end result be damned! But I might not. I might choose to limit or subtract some of my runaway mark-making for greater impact to see what I learn. Win, win.

Fun!

All the Living We've Ever Done Happened in Some Now
7 x 8.5"; acrylic, oil pastel, and collage on paper
abstract scribble inquiry
2023

Stuck, Unstuck

Jan Frazier writes in a recent teaching:

That word reality tends to be surrounded

by unwelcome associations and feelings.

Isn't that telling?

The last thing many a person wants

is to be reminded of reality.

And yet what gets called spiritual liberation

is about coming at last

to rest in what is real.

Imagine:

that relaxing into the truth of things,

without recoiling,

is utterly peace-inducing.

Yesterday, I could not for the life of me relax into the truth of things—the truth that I didn't like the paintings-in-progress in my studio, that I couldn't make sense of what I as doing nor where I was going, that I didn't know what to do to fix the messes, that the paintings weren't going to resolve on their own, that I had to find the courage to take a step, that I had to risk whatever would unfold. I could feel recoil and resistance in my body. Discouragement. Fear. 

I was stuck.

---

And then I wasn't.

I awoke (awakened!) this morning relaxed in the truth of things. By early afternoon I took that peace-inducing relaxation into my studio and began playing.

I'm Saying We Don't Have Forever. For Anything.
7 x 8.5"; acrylic, graphite, pencil, pastel, and collage on paper
abstract scribble inquiry
2023

Dear Heart

Playing with softnesses, scribbles, cursive manuscript handwriting, veiling, metallic markers, a fine-line applicator, and a make-up brush.  

Figuring out what I can and cannot do as I go along. 

Looking after I leap.

I Owe It to Myself Not to Protect My Dear Heart From the Ache of Loss
5 x 7"; acrylic and ink on paper
abstract scribble study
2023

A Series, in Spite of Myself!

My history with painting in series is on the sparse side, but lookie this! A series of four!

Explorer, Even Without Royal Sponsorship

I don't have kings or queens—or anyone else, for that matter!—sponsoring me, but I find myself thinking of such past explorers as Vasco da Gama, Francisco Pizarro, and Hernan Cortes today. I've got my own little Age of Exploration and Discovery going as I venture forth on the seas of scribbling, mapping out routes to expand my art parameters. 

I'm working on getting my sea legs established. 

With spyglass to my eye, I scan the horizon constantly, seeking any and all signs to guide me on my way.

A ship! A ship passes by on Instagram and shares information! Thank you, Laura Horn!

My Hands Work Their Power in the Material World
5 x 7"; acrylic, ink, graphite, pencil, oil pastel, and collage
on mixed media paper
abstract scribble study
2023

Inquiry in Process

I know so much more than I did in 2014 when I took up painting, but—OH MY GOSH—it is perfectly clear that I will never run out of things to learn when I paint!

How hard can it be to scribble, you might wonder. 

Plenty hard enough, I might reply.

For me, at least. 

I was so challenged this afternoon! 

I scrambled to do the kind of scribbling I wanted to do and ran headlong into limitation after limitation … incompatible supplies, tearing the edges of the paper as I gave free rein to movement of my hand, poor quality pens, wanting some kind of result that was halfway pleasing to my eye.

I think I've got myself an inquiry in process.

study in scribbling
ink, pencil, water soluble pastel, oil pastel,
and acrylic paint markers on a book page
5 x 7.5" collage paper

But That's Just Scribbles

My mom's friend Lida tells me, sometime after my mom's death, the story of sharing some of her whimsical colorful art with my mom who responds with, "But that's just scribbles," or something along those lines.

Well, Yes, Mom! Scribbles! Art doesn't get any better! 

Artist Jane Davies writes a blog post about scribbling yesterday. Her scribbles and her post are compelling, and off I go to my studio this afternoon realizing I might be able to make use of some painted scribbles that hadn't worked for a project I had in mind. Maybe I could capitalize on them now.

To my surprise I have a little trouble finding my groove but soon enough I am totally in flow. Off to the races with heart-opening scribbles. Hot damn! 

I want a stretch knit sheath dress with a little sheen and exquisite drape created with this scribble as its print.

The Best Conversation She's Overheard
Since She Started Waitressing
3.5 x 5"; acrylic, ink, charcoal, and charcoal pencil
on canvas paper
abstract/scribbles
2022

Collage Paper?

I like engaging in what I think of as the 'exquisite tension' of working a crossword puzzle or writing a haiku, accepting and embracing the limits and working within them assiduously to bring into bloom what the constraints call for—a six-letter word for prehistoric monument, fourth letter m, for example, or using five + seven + five syllables to express a thought or feeling with tight precision.

Here at Lyme Camp:
• limits—plentiful
• assiduous effort—plentiful
• tension—plentiful
• exquisite—less plentiful, since exquisite is in direct one-to-one correspondence with my acceptance (or lack thereof) of limits!

Two days ago, I worked within the begrudgingly-tolerated limits—cursing them more than once—of a few minutes, a few tubes of paint, an old book, and my finger as a paintbrush.

Collage paper?

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Gratitude/simple pleasures:
• shoveling snow—purposeful, productive, practical exercise! fresh air! beauty every which way!;
• two surprise packages for me in the mail; and
• the grace of Meg's and my laughing in surrender last evening at the day's messy mix of foibles and accomplishments and rough edges and tendernesses and wooziness and failed efforts and vats of soup and indecision and tears and hugs.

Inexquisite Tension
playing with acrylic on a book page
abstract
2020