I approached Hallowell at one of the breaks in the presentation to ask a question. I explained that I didn't know if my son was depressed because of struggles in school or if he was struggling in school because he was depressed. How could I sort out what was causing what? Where should I start in my quest to gain traction in helping him resolve the challenges at hand?
Start anywhere, Hallowell asserted. Nothing to sort out. Just start.
Oh.
Huh.
I'd thought I had to figure out what was chicken, what was egg. That I had to ascertain what came first before I could move forward. In the new light of Hallowell's perspective, it occurred to me that maybe my focus on the what-came-first quandary was just an unconscious way to buffer myself from the pain I was feeling in my circumstances, a fabricated distraction provided by my mind that somehow justified my paralysis and overwhelm.
Indeed, nothing to sort out. Start anywhere. Just start.
As I have today.
very satisfying start; pencil and posca pen on tissue paper |