Where Am I?

If I were working on paper I'd be at my paper trimmer, isolating a whole buncha volunteer compositions, and making a whole buncha greeting cards.

But I'm working on canvas, hiking through a holler somewhere in the hills, without a path, putting one foot in front of the other, getting scratched by prickers and slapped by low branches, all in faith that I'll eventually find my way.

Investigative details:

Now What?

I am grateful that my deepest purest self knows better than what my monkey mind offers up as truth.

That monkey-mind chatter is pretty darned convincing, though.

And loud? Oh my gosh, so loud.

And seemingly unremitting.

The chatter started up in full force yesterday when I messed up this work in progress which had been sweet and magical … up until it decidedly was not.

Big mistake. Big. Huge. 

Too bad I didn't think to watch the shopping scene from Pretty Woman yesterday—that video clip would have snapped me right out of the deep funk I fell into!

As it was, even in my pain, which acted as a lightning rod for every single blessed thing that didn't go the way I hoped it would yesterday, I was able to turn a deaf ear to monkey-mind's taunts for just enough moments to know that all was well, no matter the apparent evidence to the contrary.

Soon enough, I found myself at peace again, able to feel the excitement that comes from having a puzzle to solve and a what-if mindset. 

I returned to the spirit that artist Jacqui Beck so well embodies. She follows the ad-lib theater rule, which is, Always say yes. She gives the following example: 

Oh, man …  this black … I just painted so much black over this. 

Yes, I did. 

Now what?

My answer to now what was to set aside Big Mistake, pick up a second start from the same series, and start to play.

work in progress