The word confusion comes from the Latin meaning mingle together. Never thought of it that way before. That's what grief feels like right now, a mingling together of all manner of things.
Curiosity, for example. So much curiosity. So many questions.
What do I know of a 21-year-old girl who gave birth to her first child on her husband's birthday in 1950?
Next to nothing, except that I am that first child.
The story I'm telling myself is this. That 21-year-old entered motherhood filled with inner light. She had a few ideas ahead of time about being a mom but mostly she learned as she went along.
That's how I approach my studio today. I fill a sheet of canvas paper with light, approach with a few ideas, and see what I discover.
9x12", mixed media on canvas paper